AFCW Week 1 Preview:

CHIEFS AT JAGUARS

Fresh off of re-signing the biggest piece of shit in the league, the Chiefs will head into Jacksonville to take on the Jaguars. Mahomes and Co. vs. one of the league’s premier defenses. Word on the street is that child beater will be shadowed by Jalen Ramsey, so we’ll see if he can take advantage of a matchup vs a grown man as opposed to a 3 y/o child.

This should be a high scoring contest that will ultimately come down to the Jags offense not being able to keep up. Despite adding Nick Foles at QB, a healthy Fournette, the Jags just don’t have the weapons on the outside to win this one.

Predicktion: Chiefs 34, Jaguars 23

COLTS AT CHARGERS

What a schedule break for the Chargers. Andrew Luck retires 2 weeks ago, and who’s sitting atop the Chargers schedule? Of course, it’s the Colts. I probably would’ve predicted an L here for our resident Clippers fans, but I haven’t really seen anything from Brissett to think he can lead this team anywhere near how well Luck did.

No Melvin Gordon, no problem. The Chargers were 4-0 w/out him last season, and will remain undefeated w/out him this year. Despite an improved Colts defense, Rivers will dink and dunk his way down the field in his normal boring fashion enough times to effectively control the clock and come out with a Chargers W.

Predicktion: Chargers 24, Colts 17

BRONCOS AT RAIDERS

Are you ready for some football? Perhaps a Monday Night party? I know the AFCW is. The only divisional matchup of the weekend and of course it has to be Broncos/Raiders on MNF. I really have no clue WTF to expect from either of these teams. Broncos have a new HC and a rookie OC, while the Raiders are in year 2 w/Gruden but have new starters at multiple positions on both sides of the ball. And oh yeah, something something Antonio Brown.

I’m taking the under on this one, and it’ll ultimately come down to the ol’ cliché, this game will be won in the trenches. Your guess is as good as mine, and Vegas’ apparently, with the line set as a pick‘em.

Predicktion: Raiders 20, Broncos 17

Good luck, dickheads.

Not really.

Whori

Robb calls dibs