Tag: FKBW

AFCW – Rest of Season Outlook. Kind of…

 

Chiefs: They’re on cruise control without any real challengers for the division title. With an easier schedule ahead, they’ll probably end up with the conference #1 seed. Fat Andy does it again.

 

Chargers: At 7-6, the Chargers are in the hunt for a WC spot. Sunday’s game vs. TEN, also 7-6, is a must win game. Their schedule is pretty favorable after this weekend, so a win vs. the Titans will go a long way towards getting them in the dance.

 

Raiders: After yet another inexcusable loss while holding a double digit lead, the season is over for the silver and black. As if it wasn’t before. Another cluster fuck of a season. But hey, MD is cashing in and has a really cool house.

 

Broncos: The Walton family has their work cut out for them this offseason with their lame duck QB ravaging their salary cap like what they’ve done to small businesses around the country. Maybe they can play spoiler with the remaining divisional games. Maybe not.

 

EAD.

– Nori

New York Jets @ Denver Broncos (-1):

For the life of me, I can’t figure out why the Broncos are favored in this game. Sure, the home team gets a built in -3, but the Broncos are fucking horrible and the Jets look legit for the first time since Rex Ryan was caught jerking off to pictures of feet. As has been the case through their first 6 games, the Denver defense will keep things close, but ultimately won’t get the job done offensively with the NFL’s least likeable player at the helm. Another low scoring, boring game here. Sorry, Broncos country.

 

Jets 20, Broncos 17

Let’s Ride.

 

Houston Texans @ Las Vegas Raiders (-7):

Has there ever been this much optimism around a 1-4 team? Not to mention a 1-4 Raiders team? Fool us once… Whatever. Coming off a bye, a matchup with the lowly Texans should be exactly what the Raiders need. Josh Jacobs should have a monster game, Carr should roll, Adams should eat, and the defense should hold up as the Texans lone weapon offensively is a rookie RB. And I say “should” because you just never fucking know with the Raiders. Hence, their shitty 1-4 record. Raiders get a win here, but won’t make it easy on us. Texans cover.

 

Texans 20, Raiders 26

 

Seattle Seahawks @ Los Angeles Chargers (-5.5):

After being the media darlings of the offseason, the current Chargers look anything but that. Sure they’re 4-2, but a couple lucky bounces against the Browns and Broncos have kept them on the right side of the w/l column. So in comes Seattle, who have been playing decent football considering they were the favorites to land the #1 overall pick as the NFL’s shittiest team of the season, and Geno fucking Smith of all people. I’m expecting a back and forth game with 2 of the NFL’s worst defenses through 6 weeks. In the end, Herbert will make the plays Geno Smith can’t, while getting his top WR back from a hysterectomy. Chargers win.

Seahawks 24, Chargers 31

 

Kansas City Chiefs (-1.5) @ Santa Clara 49ers:

Holy shit, the Niners just got CMC. I wouldn’t expect him to play much this week, but do think he’ll be active. Perfect timing as the bitch ass Chiefs and their band of Patty Mahomes dick sucking refs come to town. In what looks like the NFL game of the week, this one should not disappoint. Unless of course the refs hand another win to the Chiefs. Anyway, we’ll see how arguably the NFL’s best defense holds up against arguably the NFL’s best offense. Strength vs. strength. This one is a toss up, and will be determined by whether or not Jimmy Garrappolo can stay out of his own way and get the ball to his playmakers w/out fucking up. That’s a big ask, but I think he gets it done against a mediocre Chiefs defense. CMC gets some redzone work and finds the endzone not once, but twice in his debut. Niners get a big home win.

Chiefs 23, Niners 27

 

Well there you have it, folks. Week 7 is in the books.

 

Your friend in football,

Nori

AFCW Training camp news and notes:

Broncos:

• Through two weeks of training camp practice, neither Drew Lock nor Teddy Bridgewater has elevated himself into an obvious leader in the race to become the Broncos’ starting quarterback in 2021. “Once we settle on a quarterback as the starter, obviously we’ll do the things that he does well and feels comfortable executing, and the rest of the team feels that too,” Fangio said.
• 3 RB’s getting carries? FA RB Mike Boone has had a good camp and could make his way into the RB rotation. “Mike is a good running back; he’s got juice, he’s explosive, he’s decisive and he runs hard for a guy that’s maybe on the small side, but he doesn’t play small,” Fangio said. “Mike is not a guy to fall asleep on.”
• 2021 3^rd round pick, Quinn Meinerz, working with the 2^nd Though the Broncos suggested there would be an open competition for the starting job at that position during training camp, Fangio said when it opened that Meinerz “first has to show that it needs to be a competition.” Meinerz has had a few fumbled exchanges during the first two weeks of camp and has often worked on snaps with Lock during team periods. All of this is a to-be-expected progression for a player making the leap in competition Meinerz is making.

Chargers:

• The Chargers held their 10th training camp practice Sunday afternoon at SoFi Stadium with a select number of fans in attendance.
• Linsley left practice after the first-team offense’s third possession because of a foot injury. He walked off with trainers and did not return to the field until practice was over. But he was out playing with his family after practice and did not have noticeable brace or wrap on his foot. Staley said Linsley likely would have kept playing if it was a real game. “Just making sure that we’re careful,” Staley said.
• Michael Badgley went 3-6 during the scrimmage and was booed off the field. LOL

CHIEFS:

• Mahomes is still really good.
• Chris Jones dominating the LOS. He continued his impressive camp with powerful repetitions. In the team period, Jones, as the defensive end, used his bull rush against rookie right tackle Lucas Niang to pressure Mahomes into a short pass to wide receiver Gehrig Dieter that gained just a few yards. Later in the period, Jones used his 6-foot-6 frame to deflect Mahomes’ pass at the line of scrimmage. Mahomes responded a few seconds later by patting Jones’s helmet.
• No fighting on Andy’s watch. As one of the league’s oldest coaches, Reid, 63, who is entering his 23rd season as a head coach, has never wanted his camps to be highlighted by teammates fighting. Reid explained Thursday why the Chiefs should never let their competition on the field lead to players punching one another. “We try to go at a fast pace and try to get as many plays in,” Reid said. “You get in a fight and it kind of drains the system. You’re not going to be doing very good the next play — and that’s what you’re putting on tape. We try to keep the tempo up. “I’m not big on fighting. This isn’t ultimate fighting. This is football.”

RAIDERS:

• Raiders seem set with 6 WR’s. The trio of Henry Ruggs III, Bryan Edwards and Hunter Renfrow has consistently run with the first-team offense, and their backup lineup has been stable as well: John Brown, Zay Jones and Willie Snead IV. Brown and Jones have been interchangeable at the “X” and “Z” positions, while Snead has been a mainstay at slot receiver behind Renfrow.
• Morrow and Littleton leading the way at LB. Morrow and Littleton are in position to take the most snaps at the second level of the defense. Nick Kwiatkoski has been the third linebacker in the rotation when Bradley has gone to a traditional 4-3 base, so he’s technically still a starter, but his inconsistencies in pass coverage are likely contributing to him being used less frequently in the nickel package. “I really like (Morrow),” Bradley said last week. “It’s very important for him to take charge of the defense and he’s in that position where he’s able to do that. So far so good with him. I really, really enjoy him, like his leadership and like his attention to detail playing that position.”
• 2021 #17 overall pick, Alex Leatherwood, looking the part. “I think it’s probably exceeding what we were hoping for this early in camp,” offensive line coach Tom Cable said Saturday. “Just getting Alex settled and learning what the pro game’s about and getting him as many reps as we can against a guy like Yannick has been really good. But in terms of the camaraderie and the jelling of the group, it’s been outstanding. Those guys, really if you think about it, most of them have been together for a year or two already. So, it was a matter of just plugging Alex in and getting Andre ready to go. And so far, so good.”

TL:DR Fuck your teams.

Your pal,

Nori

AFCW DRAFT RECAP:

Broncos:

General Paton’s first draft with the team and from the outside looking in, it was a good one. Despite the obvious need at QB, he went BPA at 9 by selecting Patrick Surtain, who looks to be the next great Alabama CB. Did you really think he was going to put his job on the line to draft a QB with Vic Fangio as HC? LOL Hell no. Paton then went on to let his nuts hang a little in the 2^nd by moving up for RB Javonte Williams, and rounded out day 2 with a few other solid prospects in Quinn Meinerz and Baron Browning. With 6 more selections on day 3, Paton was able to find good value in the 5^th round with two safeties, Caden Sterns and Jamar Johnson. No clue who the fuck the others are, but hard to imagine 10 draft picks make the roster anyway.

Best pick: Patrick Surtain – CB wasn’t a need, but Surtain has all the tools to be a top 5 CB in the league and it sounds like they’ll use him to cover the likes of TE’s Kelce, and Waller.

Worst pick: Javonte Williams – Paton moved up to 35, and I thought for sure it was to steal Tevin Jenkins and solidify both OT spots. Nothing against Williams, but Paton had the opportunity to shore up his OL for the foreseeable future.

Grade: B+

 

Chargers:

Holy shit TT finally drafted a LT in the first round. Rashawn Slater being on the board at 13 was best case scenario for the Chargers. Some think he may be better suited as a G, but either way they get a solid OLman to help protect their golden goose, Herbert. TT hit paydirt again early on day 2 with Asante Samuel Jr and Josh Palmer, but then things went south with the pick of Tre McKitty and pretty much the rest of their draft. Rumph had a productive college career but is drastically undersized for NFL level competition. Maybe after picking Slater, Samuel, and Palmer, TT just said fuck it, and took the rest of the weekend off.

Best pick: Slater is the easy answer, but I’m rolling with Palmer. He’s a big X that should be ready to contribute for Herbert in year 1 and a solid compliment to KA.

Worst pick: Tre McKitty. BuT hE’s A gOoD rUn BlOcKeR. IDGAF. The guy had 6 recs last season for UGA. He had UDFA written all over him.

Grade: B

 

Raiders:

Hate to say I told you so, but… I fucking told you so. Mayock and Gruden definitely have a type with their rd 1 selections, and I saw it coming from a mile away. I think Leatherwood will be a good player, but there were better OT’s on the board, and the value of the pick was horrible. Mayock even admitting as much in a post draft interview. Day 2 was a drastic improvement from day 1 with the trade up to go get Trevon Moehrig (pronounced “Mer-ig” I believe, but MO-rig sounds way fucking cooler), the consensus #1 FS in the draft. Then went on to draft Malcolm Koonce, who I didn’t even know existed until Friday, and Pimp of the Year candidate, Divine Deablo, who they view as a “joker” or WILL prospect. With only 3 picks on Day 3, Mayock used the most of them to move up for Tyree Gillispie, another S prospect, and a few other guys who aren’t even worth mentioning.

Best pick: Trevon MO-rig. I guess there was an issue regarding a back injury during his pro day which made him fall, but is 100% and ready to roll. Landing him in the 2^nd was best case scenario for the Raiders.

Worst pick: Malcolm Koonce. I don’t view Leatherwood as a worst pick because he’ll fill a huge hole at RT, so Koonce it is. Mainly because I just don’t know who TF he is.

Grade: C+

 

Chiefs:

Veach and Fat Andy’s best work came the week before the draft with the trade for LT Orlando Brown which left them w/out a first round pick. Still, they were able to find good value in the 2^nd round with LB Nick Bolton, and OL Creed Humphrey. Humphrey will be apart of KC’s new look OL and should slot right into C or G and help prevent Mahomes from getting his ass kicked again like he did in that brutal SB loss to the Buccs. Day 3 was a whole lot of meh, with 4 picks in total, most notably Trey Smith, an OL from Tennessee who has battled blood clots in his lungs. Ouch.

Best pick: Creed Humphrey. Good value and will start week 1. Didn’t give up a single sack his entire collegiate career. And with a name like Creed, this guy fucks.

Worst pick: Trey Smith unfortunately. The talent is there, but the medical red flags are significant. For his sake, and not the fucking Chiefs, I wish him the best.

Grade: B-

 

And there you have it folks, another draft in the books. And another draft review that I’m probably wrong on 90% of the time. Regardless, fuck your teams.

 

Your pal,

Nori

AFCW 2021 NFL DRAFT OPEN THREAD

 

FUCK YOUR TEAMS.

 

THAT IS ALL.

 

-NORI

AFC WEST 2 ROUND MOCK DRAFT

 

BRONCOS:

#9: Micah Parsons – Paton doesn’t take the bait to move up and gamble on a QB. Instead stays patient and get the best defensive prospect in the draft.

#40: Liam Eichenberg – Much needed help at OT. Eichenberg should be able to start at RT right away.

CHARGERS:

#13: Jaycee Horn – Staley gets a CB he can deploy similar to what he had with the Rams in Jalen Ramsey.

#47: Jackson Carman – A big, athletic OT prospect. Won’t be ready to protect Herbert’s blindside in year one, but has all the tools to become a starting LT.

RAIDERS:

#17: Christian Darrisaw – After trading some key pieces of an overpaid OL, the Raiders bring in a rookie who can start at RT from day 1.

#48: Rondale Moore – Gruden couldn’t help himself. Despite being undersized, Moore can play any WR position and brings a very much needed competitive edge to the group.

CHIEFS:

#31: Walker Little – Veach gambles on an OT who was once considering the OT1 of the class but has missed 2 seasons due to a knee injury and opting out.

#63: Joe Tryon – Another player who opted out of the 2020 season, Tryon plays with a high motor that will allow him to contribute in passing situations as a rookie.

With the conclusion of the NFL Draft, it’s every expert’s favorite article time… draft grades. I couldn’t think of a more pointless activity than grading a draft that has yet to step foot on the field, but I’m going to do it anyway. So, fuck off. And who better to grade the draft than this year’s MS predict the pick champ? No one, that’s who. So let’s get to it, dickheads.

Broncos:

Best Pick – Jerry “The Jew” Jeudy. Safe to say Elway landed his top target at #15 overall, and Jeudy will pair with Courtland Sutton to make a dynamic duo for the Broncos at WR. This was best case scenario for the Broncos in Rd 1.

Worst Pick – KJ Hamler. This is more nitpicking than your typical worst pick because I wouldn’t necessarily call this a bad pick. Double dipping at WR this early in a draft that’s loaded at the position seems like a luxury for a team that has holes to fill elsewhere.

Overall – Elway had himself a helluva draft. In my best draft prognosticator terminology, he let the board come to him. Obviously found great value with Jeudy in rd 1, and that trend continued throughout the draft with picks of Cushenberry in the 3rd, and Muti in the 6th.

Grade – A. Fuck you, Elway.

.

Chargers:

Best Pick – Kenneth Murray. Very high character guy, team captain at OU, good athlete. He’s an instant starter at MLB.

Worst pick – Also Kenneth Murray LOL. In 3 years as a starter at OU he has managed 0 INT’s and 4 PBUs. While he most likely will be dynamic against the run, he doesn’t excel in coverage which doesn’t bode well in the modern-day NFL. Trading back into the 1st for a 2 down LB makes my list of worst picks. Sorry not sorry.

Overall – The key to this draft is obviously Herbert at 6 overall, but the failure to address the OT position is a huge miss on TT’s part. Not to mention only coming away with 6 total picks on a roster that obviously lacked depth. TT just did a terrible job at navigating the draft board.

Grade – C-. And that’s being generous.

Chiefs:

Best Pick – Willie Gay Jr. Hard hitting prospect who can run sideline to sideline, and has the coverage abilities to play in sub packages. The only thing that kept him out of the first round were some character concerns that lead to suspensions in college. Which makes him perfect for the scumbag Chiefs.

Worst Pick – Michael Danna. Spent last season as a reserve for Michigan, after a decent career at Central Michigan. Not a great athlete, undersized… Don’t see any potential here for the 5^th round pick.

Overall – Andy Reid had a solid day 1 and 2, with the LSU RB in rd 1, Gay in the 2nd, and Lucas Niang in Rd 3, but fell asleep at the wheel for day 3. Perhaps in a food comma after a long couple of nights. IDK.

Grade – C+

.

Raiders:

Best Pick – Amik Robertson. Mayock and Gruden found good value in the 4^th round with Robertson. He’s undersized for a CB, but as competitive and tough as they come. He’ll compete for snaps in the slot as early as week 1.

Worst Pick – Tanner Muse. Tough to justify drafting a player who’s ceiling is a ST captain in the 3^rd round. Played S at Clemson, but projects as a LB in the NFL. I’d be shocked if he ever gets on the field outside of ST.

Overall – It’s a mixed bag for Mayock and Gruden amongst the “experts”. A couple early round reaches in Damon Arnette, and Muse, but addressed the team’s biggest needs by double dipping at both WR, most notably Henry Ruggs, and CB. Sat out the majority of day 2 with the last 2 picks coming in the 4^th round, but still ended the draft with 7 selections overall.

Grade – B-

Congrats, Broncos. You won the draft. EAD, Elway.

Yours truly,

Whori

First off, congrats to the 2 Chiefs fans on their long-awaited SB run. I’m sure they’re as shocked as we are that Fat Andy didn’t choke again. All those years of Andy Reid being a shitty father raising 2 deadbeat sons, finally paid off. Also, fuck you.

As we move on to the offseason, the theme for the other 3 losers is simple, yet not so simple: “How the fuck do we catch the Chiefs?” A lot is about to take place from now thru August, when training camp starts, so buckle up because this already has the makings of an all-time AFCW offseason.

A few key offseason dates:

Feb. 24 – Mar. 2^nd: NFL Combine

Feb. 25 – Mar. 10^th: Teams can designate Franchise or Transition players.

Mar. 16^th: Clubs may enter negotiations with free agents. AKA legal tampering period.

Mar. 18^th: The 2020 league year and FA begins at 1pm EST.

Apr. 23 – 25^th: 2020 NFL Draft

Apr. 27^th: Teams may tryout, sign current XFL players.

Who gives a fuck about the rest.

Early AFCW Headlines:

Chargers moving on from Rivers – The Chargers and Rivers have mutually agreed to part ways. Sounds like an old love story, “it’s not you, it’s me.” Either way, this creates a HUGE hole at the single most important position for LAC. Tank for Sunshine 2020?

Raiders are expected to show interest in Tom Brady – Another offseason, another media driven QB controversy for the Raiders. I’d say it’s 80/20 that Carr is the week 1 starter for the LV opener.

Not much else going on other than the Broncos need to figure out their ownership structure, but who really GAF about that, and hopefully the Chiefs are hungover all offseason.

That’s it for now. We’ll get more of an in depth look at each team’s needs and targets via FA and draft closer to those dates, along with some mock drafts to pass the time. Plus, I’m sure we can all agree that we’re sick of looking at the fucking Chiefs SB article, minus the hot chick of course. Moving on…

And good luck this offseason, other than our 2 Chiefs fans, we fucking need it.

Yours Truly,

Whori

I don’t even want to recap week 15.

Fuck week 15. Moving on…

Chiefs at Bears:

You know what, I’m going to root for the Chiefs for the rest of the season. Not just in this obvious matchup because the Raiders have the Bears draft pick, but to win the whole fucking thing. Chiefs fans deserve it. All 2 of you. Poe, the constant shit talker and butt to our jokes, and lcjeeb, one of the more objective MS’ers out there, an all around good guy. Cheers to you two.

This isn’t that tough of a matchup for the Chiefs. The Bears aren’t that good, and their defense shouldn’t scare anyone. It’ll be cold, but Mahomes just hung 350 yards and 2 TD’s in the snow, so what’s a little cold air going to do? Defensively, take away the Bears only weapon, Allen Robinson, and they’ll struggle. Chiefs secondary has been quietly good this year so shouldn’t be a problem. Trubisky still sucks.

My predicktion: Chiefs 24, Bears 14

Lions at Broncos:

Two terrible teams who play in different conferences, I couldn’t think of a worse week 16 matchup. This is one of those where the local coverage should just bypass each team for a better game.

Two words, David. Blough. It’s not like the Broncos defense are world beaters like they have been in the past, but this kid sucks. Not sure how they even move the ball with no running game and CHJr shadowing Golladay. Offensively for Denver, I had a feeling Lock would struggle vs. the Chiefs but this is a favorable matchup for the rookie. Detriot’s defense is among the worst in the league.

My predicktion: Broncos 21, Lions 10

Chargers at Raiders in LA:

I’ve had it up to here *reaches up as far as my 6’10” wingspan will go* with the Raiders. I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotionally drained as a fan. I give up. The agony of defeat far outweighs the joys of victory when you’re a Raider fan. They always let you down. Every. Single. Fucking. Time. And I don’t even know who I’m mad at, mainly Gruden I guess, but I’m just fucking mad at the entire loser organization. Anyway…

The Chargers should’ve won this matchup last time they played in Oakland. They were the better team that day, and they are currently the better team right now. And it’s not even close. Jacobs is out for the week, so the Raiders will rely on Deandre Washington and Jalen Richard to carry the load. Not to mention Trent Brown just went on IR as I’m typing this, so that means another game of the human sack of potatoes, Brandon Parker, at right tackle. LOL. Poor Derek… just cut him already. He’s like that bug that you smash that’s still wiggling around on the ground. Put him out of his fucking misery. Send him to a better place *cough* New Orleans *cough*. Please. For the Chargers side, Rivers will have his full arsenal to work with, and defensively, Derwin James is back to form their superhero secondary of the jackoff boyz. I’m going to advise all Raiders fans to not watch this game.

My predicktion: Chargers 31, Raiders 13

A little FFB analysis: If you’re reading this, you’re probably in the championship game, so congrats. A little advice from the former MS FFB league champion (EAD, Screw), cross out the names on the back of jerseys. The whole notion of “start your studs” is complete bullshit and will cost you a championship. Start the best matchups. Start Breshad Perriman’s ugly ass. He’s a top 10 play this week. Who the fuck is Mike Boone? I don’t know, but if Cook and Mattison aren’t playing, start him too. Don’t just throw Alvin Kamara out there because you wasted a top 5 pick on him. You’ll lose. And trust me, I’ve been there before making these dumb decisions. And guess what? I fucking lost.

On that note, I wish you all good luck.

Yours truly,

Whori

I’m going to keep it simple this week for the Chiefs, Broncos, and Chargers. Not because I’m a Raider homer and I hate all your teams, but because there is a greater meaning to this week with the grand finale of the Oakland Raiders.

Broncos at Chiefs:

My Predicktion – It’s not close. The Chiefs are playing for a much needed bye week, and Fat Andy will have Lock figured out after only 2 weeks as a starting QB.

Chiefs 27, Broncos 17

Vikings at Chargers:

My predicktion – I think this will be a good game. Vikings are a little banged up with an injury to Cook, and b/u Mattison nursing an ankle injury. They should get Thielen back, but Diggs has his work cut out for him against Casey Hayward. If Rivers can avoid being Givers, I think the Chargers get a W here.

Chargers 24, Vikings 21

Jaguars at Raiders:

*Wipes a tear* All I can think of right now is the lyrics to The End by The Doors. This is the end, my friend.

The very last time the Raiders take the field for the city of Oakland in the Coliseum that they’ve called home for the majority of the franchise’s existence.

It wasn’t fancy. Quite the opposite actually.

But it was home. It defined Oakland.

Walking over the pass from BART and through the concrete halls smelling of beer and weed with 60,000 people who’re ready for a throwdown chanting, “Raaaaiiiiiiiderrrrrrrssssss” in complete unison that just sends a shiver down your spine. If you never heard it, not anywhere else, but there, it was special. The Black Hole transcended the toughness that Al Davis once instilled in his proud franchise.

I don’t expect everyone to get it.

Raider Nation is nationwide with fans from all over, but those of us who were close, Bay Area natives like Rock, long time season ticket holders like JMC, the place was special to us. It was ours. Not sure how much I’m looking forward to Las Vegas. The stadium is going to be insane. It’ll have all the bells and whistles, but it won’t have the city of Oakland behind it. The Town. The people who made the Raiders, the Raiders. We’ll see what the future holds, will the Oakland faithful be there? I sure hope so because it won’t be the same without ‘em.

Oh yeah, there’s a game being played too.

My predicktion:

It hasn’t been pretty for the Raiders, losers of 3 straight. Loser is actually a nice way to put it because they’ve got their asses kicked 3 weeks in a row. Not this week though. Not against a 4-9 Jags team that isn’t good in any phase of the game. The Raiders will come out with something extra this week and leave on a high note.

Raiders 31, Jags 20

Yours Truly,

Whori