Fresh off of re-signing the biggest piece of shit in the league, the Chiefs will head into Jacksonville to take on the Jaguars. Mahomes and Co. vs. one of the league’s premier defenses. Word on the street is that child beater will be shadowed by Jalen Ramsey, so we’ll see if he can take advantage of a matchup vs a grown man as opposed to a 3 y/o child.
This should be a high scoring contest that will ultimately come down to the Jags offense not being able to keep up. Despite adding Nick Foles at QB, a healthy Fournette, the Jags just don’t have the weapons on the outside to win this one.
Predicktion: Chiefs 34, Jaguars 23
COLTS AT CHARGERS
What a schedule break for the Chargers. Andrew Luck retires 2 weeks ago, and who’s sitting atop the Chargers schedule? Of course, it’s the Colts. I probably would’ve predicted an L here for our resident Clippers fans, but I haven’t really seen anything from Brissett to think he can lead this team anywhere near how well Luck did.
No Melvin Gordon, no problem. The Chargers were 4-0 w/out him last season, and will remain undefeated w/out him this year. Despite an improved Colts defense, Rivers will dink and dunk his way down the field in his normal boring fashion enough times to effectively control the clock and come out with a Chargers W.
Predicktion: Chargers 24, Colts 17
BRONCOS AT RAIDERS
Are you ready for some football? Perhaps a Monday Night party? I know the AFCW is. The only divisional matchup of the weekend and of course it has to be Broncos/Raiders on MNF. I really have no clue WTF to expect from either of these teams. Broncos have a new HC and a rookie OC, while the Raiders are in year 2 w/Gruden but have new starters at multiple positions on both sides of the ball. And oh yeah, something something Antonio Brown.
I’m taking the under on this one, and it’ll ultimately come down to the ol’ cliché, this game will be won in the trenches. Your guess is as good as mine, and Vegas’ apparently, with the line set as a pick‘em.
Get your DVR’s ready, because the Raiiiidaaaas, are on Hard Knocks. Jon Gruden, aka Chucky, leads this cornucopia of has beens, misfits, and never beens on the NFL’s biggest preseason stage. In what is probably the most anticipated Hard Knocks edition in the history of the show, at least for us MS aficionados, the Raiders are surely to not disappoint.
What makes them interesting:
What doesn’t make them interesting? It’s the fucking Raiders. Not only for their storied past, but for the long list of characters currently employed. Starting at the top with Gruden. Who most are familiar with from his stint with the MNF broadcast, where he seemingly gushed over just about every player. That is not the real Gruden. Antonio Brown, the flashy diva WR who forced his way out of Pittsburgh and into Oakland is sure to perform for the cameras. And let’s not forget Mr. Incognito. We’ll set the over/under on N-bombs at 8. About 1 per episode. Throw in the team’s final year in Napa for TC, and final year in Oakland before a move to the bright lights of Las Vegas, and you have a recipe for success. At least for the show that is…
Star of the show:
This one is easy. It’s Gruden. He’s loud, foul mouthed, and doesn’t hold back. He never shuts up and will have already put in 5 hours of work before the camera’s start rolling at 8am. He talks a lot of shit, and is always riding his players. Like mentioned above, completely different than his on-air persona on MNF. Here’s a drinking game for you, take a shot for every time he says man, man. Good luck with that.
Best character you’ve never heard of:
Jalen Richard. Ok, you’ve probably heard of him, but you don’t know anything about him other than he’s Carr’s preferred check down target and a decent PPR option for fantasy. Jalen is a funny, outgoing guy, and the exact type of character the camera crew will enjoy following. Not to mention he’s an anti-vaxxer. So yeah, there’s that.
All the name calling y’all hurting my feelings 😔☹️
I love my boy DC, but it’s him. He’s like if you were to combine Philip Rivers with a frat boy. Good, wholesome dude, family man, everyone loves him, but the amount of bro’s out of his mouth will exceed the acceptable limit 5 minutes into the show. He’s annoying AF. I can see a downgrade in his likability following the show.
First on-air fight:
Incognito vs. Eddie Vanderdoes. Incognito is obvious, and Vanderdoes will be competing for a roster spot. Those are the type of guys who usually put out the type of effort to piss someone off enough to throw down. And Eddie is big and physical. A perfect opponent for Richie.
Football is in the air, dickheads. The show is set to debut on August 6th. And no way better to kick off the season than a behind the scenes look at the Oakland Raiders. Get your popcorn ready.
It’s inevitable. Change. You can grab the onrushing train and try to hold on, jump out of the way, or be flattened.
In 1979, the National Basketball Association introduced the 3 point shot some 22-23 feet away from the basket. I will not bore the shit out of you with statistics of how the game has evolved (or devolved) since then, but scoring changes in sports can affect the game fundamentally, the two point conversion in football being the other obvious case.
I will however flash my big man bias and tell you that there is nothing more frustrating than running up and down the court, posting up with great position, hoisting my hand in the air, and watching as the point guard jacks up another three. Oh wait, there is something more frustrating. Setting a high screen and roll, having a clear path to the basket, then watching the point guard jack a three over TWO defenders as I shoot an air layup showing where my path would have been.
The temptation of a possible three points seems to alter the thinking of players, coaches, and fans. Is the big man a thing of the past? Not really. Now you just have big men working on shooting threes. Dirk Nowitzki was the pioneer of this shift, and for a while it was a novelty to the point that he was the only one doing it. Now there’s a handful of guys approaching or exceeding seven feet tall who can shoot a three pointer with enough accuracy that it needs to be addressed by the defense as something more than just a novelty. Brook Lopez, Marc Gasol, Nikola Jokic, and Joel Embiid are just some examples of the paradigm shifting from the lumbering big man setting up shop on the low block to the “stretch” big man setting a pick, then setting up shop behind the three point line.
It is still my assertion that the best big men can do both. And that is what I try to do now when I play in rec leagues and pickup. Am I an effective three point shooter? I’ll call myself streaky; I’ve had games where I’ve hit two or three threes in a row and then others where I haven’t even come close. But by no means have I abandoned my post game. Some dinosaurs will never be extinct, but they definitely will have to be agile enough to grab that three point train.
Album of the Month: Coldplay “A Rush of Blood to the Head”
I acknowledge that Chris Martin, lead singer of the band Coldplay, is a douche. So much so that he can be rightfully called the archetype of the new millennium male douche. Sensitive, angst-ridden, cause-supporting, earnest, sappy, hipster, whatever adjective you use, he planted the flag firmly and claimed a new planet of adult alternative contemporary pop-rock with the 2000 anthem “Yellow” (from their major label debut “Parachutes”) soon to be crowed at karaoke by college bros deeply in touch with feelings they never knew they had. Millions of album sales, and the inevitable backlash, came swiftly.
The next album would, rightly or wrongly, determine Coldplay’s fate and direction. In 2002, they released “A Rush of Blood to the Head” and it became clear from the outset: Coldplay came to play. Martin’s angst remains ever present throughout his lyrics and yes, he overreaches at the heartstrings plenty of times.
But the real power of this album is the band.
Whereas “Parachutes” can be so ethereal and atmospheric to the point of disappearing, Rush of Blood maintains a constant rock presence and feel. Piano, guitar, drums, bass all come together in plenty of soaring choruses and memorable hooks. The opening song “Politik” is a globalist call from Martin to “open up your eyes” and “don’t forget the rest of us” over a two chord power punch. He does keep bringing it back to love and doubt and fractured relationships throughout the record, and as his depression increases, the record becomes deeper and more compelling. Even when the lyrical sappiness is turned up to 10 on “The Scientist”, the gorgeous melody carries the song. By the end of the record, the next to the last song is the title track, and Martin is ready to watch the house of broken promises burn to the ground. Easily the highlight of the album. The final song “Amsterdam” finds Martin completely adrift and ready to end it all, but before hope is lost, salvation is found: “Stood on the edge/Tied to a noose/But you came along and cut me loose”.
(editor’s opinion)
FINAL CUT: This album is full of soft piano leading to soaring chords and melodies. Coldplay probably peaked with this album but it remains their finest work top to bottom. Martin never quite gets to where he wants to be, but his confusion, depression and anger make for some great moments. If you’re a fan, this is in your top 2 Coldplay albums. If you’re not, start with this one.
Raiders #4 Overall: QB. The Raiders are in position with 3 picks in the first round to add much needed impact players on both sides of the ball. A QB at 4 would most likely not start right away. They’d keep Carr and he’ll be playing while also looking over his shoulder. Not ideal. With the #4 pick, the Raiders need someone to make an immediate impact. This means guys like Quinnen Williams, Josh Allen, Ed Oliver. I could even live with Devin White. But not a fucking QB. Don’t do it, Jon, you fuck.
Broncos #10 Overall: Interior OL. Sure, your offensive line sucks ass, but reaching for one at 10 wouldn’t be in Elway’s best interest. TGF isn’t in this draft and there will be an elite defensive talent on the board that old man Fangio will be banging the table for. Not to mention the possible QB (Lock), who they can sit for a year and learn how to suck behind Flacco’s sorry ass. Pick an interior OLman and the rest of us AFCW’ers will be cheering.
Chargers #28 Overall: I’m trying to think of a worst-case scenario for the Chargers, but with All Pros at every single position, I can’t see a realistic pick that would suck. TT can pretty much pick whoever falls in his lap again this year.
Chiefs #29 Overall: WR. Sure, it’s a need because Sammy Watkins can’t stay healthy, and Tyreek Hill is a child abuser, but Fat Andy can navigate an offense better than he can a pulled pork sandwich. And that says a lot because he’s fat. And likes BBQ. Anyway, your defense is fucking terrible and lost 2 of its best players. Other than Chris Jones, not an impact player anywhere. BPA on defense should be the pick, not a WR.
