AFCW Week 6 Preview

What an exciting week, week 5 was. Broncos got their first win of the season vs. the Chargers – we all saw that coming. The Chiefs looked pedestrian for the second week in a row in a loss at home to the Colts. And the Raiders shocked the world by punching bitch ass Khalil Mack and the Bears D in the dick and getting their 3rd win of the season to move to 3-2. Moving on to week 6 in what looks like some good matchups all around for the AFCW.

Texans at Chiefs:

Coming off a tough loss at home vs. the Colts, the Chiefs will look to rebound against a good Texans team looking for its 4th win of the season and leading the AFCS division. Houston excels at getting pressure on the opposing QB, and offensively, Deshaun Watson leads a vertical passing attack which could spell trouble for KC’s mediocre secondary.

Patrick Mahomes is going to have to carry this team on his back in order to win this game. Watkins and Fisher look questionable for the game at best, and child beater still hasn’t been cleared. Defensively they’ll be w/out Chris Jones for a few weeks as well. Fat Andy needs to get his 8th worse run game going to keep the Texans defense honest. I wish I would’ve written this before taking Chiefs -5 because I just don’t see it paying out. This will be close and could go either way.

My predicktion: Chiefs 30, Texans 27

Fantasy player of the game: Rule #1 in FFB, don’t chase last week’s points. However, Will Fuller has another very nice matchup this week. I’m going to double down on another solid performance.

Titans at Broncos:

The Broncos got their first win of the season last week in LA, but come home for a tough week 6 matchup vs. the Titans. The Titans are sitting at 2-3 and currently last in the AFCS, but they’re better than their record would indicate. They’re a well-balanced team who aren’t really great at anything, but solid in all facets of the game.

The key for the Broncos to come away with a W is going to be getting the ball out of Henry’s hands and forcing Mariota to be the shitty QB he is. Unfortunately for Denver, this plays right into their weakness defensively, struggling against tough, physical runners through the first 5 games of the season. Offensively, the Broncos OL will struggle vs. a stout TEN front and will need to have success throwing the ball, and should look to Sutton early and often. Vegas has this as the lowest point total of the week for a reason. Expect a low scoring game, that’s probably decided by another last second FG.

My predicktion: Titans 19, Broncos 17

Fantasy player of the game: Henry is obviously a must start, so I’m going with the hot hand of Courtland Sutton. He’s taken over as Flacco’s favorite WR and has a positive matchup with Malcolm Butler.

Chargers at Steelers in LA:

Let’s face it, this might as well be a road game for the Chargers. Steelers fans travel better than any team in the league, and the Chargers have no fans to begin with. Terrible towels everywhere. Anyway, the Chargers are reeling. They’re banged up as always, losing Pouncey for the season this week, and lack the depth to stay afloat. Speaking of, maybe if TT didn’t always go for the “sexy” pick in the draft and actually filled positions of need, these injuries wouldn’t take such a toll.

The Chargers need a win here to keep their season alive, and fortunately for LAC, the Steelers look like they may be starting a 3rd string QB. That might be their only saving grace in this one. Pittsburgh is still solid enough defensively to keep Rivers in check, but not sure what to expect from the offense other than a healthy dose of James Conner with Jaylen Samuels sidelined now for a month. Can the Chargers get Melvin Gordon going? They’ll need a big game from him to get a win. And take the under.

My predicktion: Chargers 17, Steelers 14 *If Rudolph starts, this is an L for the Chargers*

Fantasy player of the game: Minus the obvious KA and James Conner, I’m staying away. But if you’re desperate for a TE play, Vance McDonald could have a decent game. Backup QB’s usually tend to lean on TE’s in the passing game.

Raiders on a bye:

Traded a 2021 5th for Zay Jones and get some much needed WR depth.

Yours truly,

Whori

AFCW Week 5 Preview

Bears vs. Raiders (from London):

In what was speculated to be an under the table handshake between the league and Mark Davis, the Raiders agreed to a handful of games outside of Oakland in order to get the votes necessary to relocate out of that hell hole and into a city that actually wants them. So here we are in London, England, playing the bloody Bears and an old friend in Khalil Mack. Fuck bitch ass Mack for holding out. Moving on…

The Bears D is still very good. They may be missing a few key pieces from last year, but the front 7 is still intact and playing at a high level. Probably too high for the Raiders to overcome with the few weapons they have offensively. Tyrell Williams hasn’t practiced all week, and how much can you expect from a rookie RB vs. a Bears defense who just held Dalvin Cook under 40 yards rushing? The key here for the Raiders will obviously be the OL. Can they contain Mack and Co. and give Carr enough time to check down? Probably not. Let’s just get out of this game in one piece and enjoy the bye week.

My predicktion: Bears 24, Raiders 13

Fantasy player of the game: Tarik Cohen. 19-201-1. Cohen’s receiving stats in the 2 games with Daniels as a starter last year. Not to mention Cohen’s only TD of the season came last week on a pass from Daniels. I think that trend continues with Cohen being a solid flex, bye week fill in.

    

Broncos vs. Chargers:

Have you ever heard of the Peter Principle? It’s a belief that people in the workforce typically rise to their level of incompetence. We see it a lot in business, and especially in the NFL. Really good coordinators becoming really bad HC’s. Make of that what you will.

Anyway, the underwhelming Chargers get their first action vs. an AFCW foe on Sunday on a neutral site in Los Angeles. Yes, I’m expecting the crowd to be around 50/50. About the same as each team’s chances of winning this game. The Broncos are desperate for a win and they have vets on the team who aren’t familiar with what this sort of a losing season feels like. Meanwhile, the Chargers only have 3 healthy WR’s, 2 of them suck, no TE, arguably the league’s worst OL, and KA will be shadowed by Harris all game. But hey, let’s congratulate TT for finally signing a kicker. And Gordon finally showed up, so that’s good. I guess… I think this one is close, and wouldn’t be surprised to see Denver get their first win of the season.

My predicktion: Broncos 21, Chargers 20

Fantasy player of the game: The RB’s. All of them. Lindsey/Freeman, Gordon/Eckler. 2 top 10 matchups for fantasy RB’s. I think both passing games struggle and the bulk of each team’s offense will come on the ground.

Colts vs. Chiefs:

I’m sure the schedule creators thought this was going to be a fun matchup between Andrew Luck and Patty Mahomes for their marquee SNF matchup. Well they thought wrong.

I feel inclined to talk more about the Chiefs here because Poe is such a huge fan of my work, but what is there really to discuss? Chiefs win. By a lot.

My predicktion: Chiefs 40, IND 17

Fantasy player of the game: Start your Chiefs.

Yours truly,

Whori

AFCW Week 4 Preview

Alright sports fans, we’re almost 25% through with the season, and everything has gone according to plan. Right? Not exactly. Current standings have the Chiefs pulling away from the rest of the division at 3-0, the Raiders and Chargers at 1-2, and the Browns, I mean Broncos at 0-3. Here’s what’s on tap for the AFCW in week 4.

Chiefs at Lions:

Heading into this game, the surprisingly undefeated (2-0-1) Lions host the also undefeated child beater-less Chiefs and look to slow down the league’s best offense. On the surface you think, “great, another Chiefs blowout”, however, Vegas has the line set at -6. They didn’t build all of those casinos and fancy hotels by losing, so this matchup is a lot closer than it looks on paper.

Here’s what Vegas see’s, a really good DET secondary lead by all pro CB Darius Slay. He’s so damn good, they even made a T-Shirt for basic bitches with his name on it, Slay all Day. I’m sure we’ve all seen that dumb fucking shirt. On the other side are corners Justin Coleman, and former Raiders great, Rashaan Melvin, who seems to be back to his pre-Raiders form. Unfortunately for the rest of the NFL, Mahomes still has that Kelce guy to throw to. Expect a big game from him. The other side of the ball, Stafford has been decent this year with 8 TD’s through 3 games and a pair of good WR’s, and rookie TE, TJ Hockenson. That’s definitely not enough tho.

My predicktion: KC 27, DET 24

Fantasy play of the game: Keep an eye on the Chiefs backfield. If Damien Williams and McCoy are out, Darrell Williams makes for a solid Flex play. For Detroit, Kerryon Johnson. KC is still awful vs. the run and game flow could net him a few extra receptions. If you need a deeper play, Marvin Jones has a solid matchup as well.

Raiders at Colts:

I’m picturing the scene from Belly. Nas and DMX are riding in the car when Nas starts preaching his bullshit again to which DMX says, “HERE WE GO AGAIN.” Well, here we go again with the fucking Raiders. They head into Indy with the exact opposite of momentum, looking like the same fucking team they were a year ago. Meanwhile, the Colts are playing good football lead by a dominant OL, and a solid defense.

The Raiders may actually catch a break here with WR TY Hilton nursing a hurt quad. Considering how shitty the secondary has played, this would be a huge development as it would limit Brissett’s weapons at WR to a trio with a combined 10 receptions on the season. Offensively for the Raiders, give Josh Jacobs the fucking ball. A lot. The Colts defense is in the bottom half of the league in rushing yards/game. If the Raiders can take advantage here and control the clock, they can keep this one close. Whether or not Gruden pulls his head out of his ass is anyone’s guess.

My predicktion: IND 24, OAK 21

Fantasy play of the week: The two RB’s, Jacobs and Mack, are obvious plays. For a deeper play, if Parris Campbell gets the start in place of TY, I’d bet on the rookie speedster to get behind that shitty Raiders secondary for multiple deep receptions. I could see one of those crazy 3-150-2 stat lines out of him. Your classic boom/bust play.

Chargers at Dolphins:

LOL Wouldn’t it be great? I would laugh my fucking ass off. Doesn’t matter how shitty the Raiders are, the Chargers losing to Miami would make my season. (Robb has LAC losing) Unfortunately, it’s not going to happen. Miami has nothing. The front office essentially pulled a 2018 Raiders and got rid of just about anything with any value. Rosen took over the reins last week and did a decent job, I guess, but who’s he throwing to? Preston Williams has been a surprise UDFA addition.

Not much to evaluate here. This one shouldn’t be close. The Chargers essentially get a bye to get them back to .500.

My predicktion: LAC 31, MIA 17

Fantasy play of the game: Start all your Chargers against the league’s worst D. Good week to play Rivers if you’re streaming QB’s. You’re probably not playing him in season leagues, but Preston Williams could be a cheap option at WR for DFS.

Jaguars at Broncos:

Is this the week? No, I’m not talking about a win, is this the week Von Miller and/or Chubb finally record a fucking sack? The rest of the team maybe? Here they are, supposed to have this defensive mastermind as a HC, and he can’t even dial up pressure with one of, if not the best pass rusher in the league. I guess that’s why he’s 80 and has never been a HC before. So what’s instore for them vs. the Jags?

Gardner Minshew is a fucking douche bag. Yeah, I said it. He is. I can’t stand people who don’t take anything seriously. Everything’s a fucking joke. FOH. Anyways, this game is going to be like cooking that Sunday brisket, low and slow. Lowest point total of the week according to Vegas and it’s easy to see why. Flacco sucks, the OL is suspect other than Risner, and the Jags are still pretty stout up front which could limit the Broncos only chance at winning, getting the run game going. Luckily for the Broncos, the Jags aren’t much better offensively and will keep this one close. I feel sorry for anyone outside of Denver and Jacksonville who have this game on their local coverage.

My predicktion: JAX 20, DEN 14

Fantasy play of the game: The stats aren’t pretty, but Fournette is always a good volume play. Also sounds like Jalen Ramsey won’t play, so don’t be afraid to go with Manny Sanders if he doesn’t. He’s the only guy Flacco’s sorry ass can get the ball to.

love as always,

Whori

AFCW Week 3 Preview

Ravens at Chiefs:

In what is expected to be the highest point total of the week, the undefeated Ravens head into the meth capital of the world to take on the undefeated Chiefs. Vegas has the point total for this game at 52, so we should be in for a shootout.

With no child beater since early in week 1, the Chiefs offense hasn’t skipped a beat and I don’t see that changing this week. In what will be their toughest test of the season so far, I don’t see them struggling to put points on the board and ultimately come away victorious. BAL with LJ, and Hollywood can hang in to keep it somewhat close with a late score.

My predicktion – KC 32, BAL 27

Raiders at Vikings:

After a big MNF victory vs. the Broncos in week 1, the Raiders laid a fat fucking egg week 2 vs. the Chiefs. So what team will we see this week on the road vs. a decent Vikings squad? Probably the team they are, which is below average at best.

The Raiders are in trouble here. Trent Brown is banged up and hasn’t practiced all week. The significance of that is that his backup, Brandon Parker, is a big piece of shit. Offensively, Carr and the Raiders are going to struggle, while his counterpart finally opens up that passing attack with Diggs and Thielen, not to mention Cooks on the ground, and it’s just a recipe for disaster for the Raiders. Sorry folks, but I just don’t feel good about this one.

My predicktion – MIN 31, OAK 17

Broncos at Packers:

Not looking good so far for the Broncos. 0-2 and heading into GB to face Rodgers. We all expected a good Broncos defense this year led by new HC Vic Fangio, but haven’t seen that so far. Vonn and Chubb combine for 0 sacks and that’s just flat fucking unacceptable.

GB’s defense looks improved and DEN’s offense isn’t, to say the least. On the other side of the ball, expect shadow coverage from Harris on Adams, but Rodgers will just take advantage of the matchups on the other side of the field. He’s too good. Here’s to Manny Sanders tho. WTF did he take to heal so damn quickly?

My predicktion – GB 24, DEN 10

Texans “at” Chargers:

The Chargers currently look like one of the more overrated teams heading into the season. Eeked out a W vs. a Luck-less Colts in week 1 and lose on the road to the Lions in week 2. Now face a tough Texans team at “home” for week 3, can they regain their 2018 form?

No. JJ Watt has a huge mismatch with whoever the shitty tackle is infront of him, which will limit Rivers ability to make his progressions that he’s so damn good at. On the other side of the ball, look for Watson and Hopkins to continue to dominate, and they’ve been surprisingly productive on the ground too. I do think this one is close and will come down to the final whistle.

My predicktion – HOU 21, LAC 17

With all of my heart,

Whori

AFCW Week 1 Preview

AFCW Week 1 Preview:

CHIEFS AT JAGUARS

Fresh off of re-signing the biggest piece of shit in the league, the Chiefs will head into Jacksonville to take on the Jaguars. Mahomes and Co. vs. one of the league’s premier defenses. Word on the street is that child beater will be shadowed by Jalen Ramsey, so we’ll see if he can take advantage of a matchup vs a grown man as opposed to a 3 y/o child.

This should be a high scoring contest that will ultimately come down to the Jags offense not being able to keep up. Despite adding Nick Foles at QB, a healthy Fournette, the Jags just don’t have the weapons on the outside to win this one.

Predicktion: Chiefs 34, Jaguars 23

COLTS AT CHARGERS

What a schedule break for the Chargers. Andrew Luck retires 2 weeks ago, and who’s sitting atop the Chargers schedule? Of course, it’s the Colts. I probably would’ve predicted an L here for our resident Clippers fans, but I haven’t really seen anything from Brissett to think he can lead this team anywhere near how well Luck did.

No Melvin Gordon, no problem. The Chargers were 4-0 w/out him last season, and will remain undefeated w/out him this year. Despite an improved Colts defense, Rivers will dink and dunk his way down the field in his normal boring fashion enough times to effectively control the clock and come out with a Chargers W.

Predicktion: Chargers 24, Colts 17

BRONCOS AT RAIDERS

Are you ready for some football? Perhaps a Monday Night party? I know the AFCW is. The only divisional matchup of the weekend and of course it has to be Broncos/Raiders on MNF. I really have no clue WTF to expect from either of these teams. Broncos have a new HC and a rookie OC, while the Raiders are in year 2 w/Gruden but have new starters at multiple positions on both sides of the ball. And oh yeah, something something Antonio Brown.

I’m taking the under on this one, and it’ll ultimately come down to the ol’ cliché, this game will be won in the trenches. Your guess is as good as mine, and Vegas’ apparently, with the line set as a pick‘em.

Predicktion: Raiders 20, Broncos 17

Good luck, dickheads.

Not really.

Whori

Robb calls dibs

HARD KNOCKS PREVIEW: RAIDERS EDITION

 Get your DVR’s ready, because the Raiiiidaaaas, are on Hard Knocks. Jon Gruden, aka Chucky, leads this cornucopia of has beens, misfits, and never beens on the NFL’s biggest preseason stage. In what is probably the most anticipated Hard Knocks edition in the history of the show, at least for us MS aficionados, the Raiders are surely to not disappoint.

What makes them interesting:

What doesn’t make them interesting? It’s the fucking Raiders. Not only for their storied past, but for the long list of characters currently employed. Starting at the top with Gruden. Who most are familiar with from his stint with the MNF broadcast, where he seemingly gushed over just about every player. That is not the real Gruden. Antonio Brown, the flashy diva WR who forced his way out of Pittsburgh and into Oakland is sure to perform for the cameras. And let’s not forget Mr. Incognito. We’ll set the over/under on N-bombs at 8. About 1 per episode. Throw in the team’s final year in Napa for TC, and final year in Oakland before a move to the bright lights of Las Vegas, and you have a recipe for success. At least for the show that is…

Star of the show:

This one is easy. It’s Gruden. He’s loud, foul mouthed, and doesn’t hold back. He never shuts up and will have already put in 5 hours of work before the camera’s start rolling at 8am. He talks a lot of shit, and is always riding his players. Like mentioned above, completely different than his on-air persona on MNF. Here’s a drinking game for you, take a shot for every time he says man, man. Good luck with that.

Best character you’ve never heard of:

Jalen Richard. Ok, you’ve probably heard of him, but you don’t know anything about him other than he’s Carr’s preferred check down target and a decent PPR option for fantasy. Jalen is a funny, outgoing guy, and the exact type of character the camera crew will enjoy following. Not to mention he’s an anti-vaxxer. So yeah, there’s that.

Most annoying character you’ll want to STFU:

I love my boy DC, but it’s him. He’s like if you were to combine Philip Rivers with a frat boy. Good, wholesome dude, family man, everyone loves him, but the amount of bro’s out of his mouth will exceed the acceptable limit 5 minutes into the show. He’s annoying AF. I can see a downgrade in his likability following the show.

First on-air fight:

Incognito vs. Eddie Vanderdoes. Incognito is obvious, and Vanderdoes will be competing for a roster spot. Those are the type of guys who usually put out the type of effort to piss someone off enough to throw down. And Eddie is big and physical. A perfect opponent for Richie.

Football is in the air, dickheads. The show is set to debut on August 6th. And no way better to kick off the season than a behind the scenes look at the Oakland Raiders. Get your popcorn ready.

G For Three

It’s inevitable. Change. You can grab the onrushing train and try to hold on, jump out of the way, or be flattened.

In 1979, the National Basketball Association introduced the 3 point shot some 22-23 feet away from the basket. I will not bore the shit out of you with statistics of how the game has evolved (or devolved) since then, but scoring changes in sports can affect the game fundamentally, the two point conversion in football being the other obvious case.

I will however flash my big man bias and tell you that there is nothing more frustrating than running up and down the court, posting up with great position, hoisting my hand in the air, and watching as the point guard jacks up another three. Oh wait, there is something more frustrating. Setting a high screen and roll, having a clear path to the basket, then watching the point guard jack a three over TWO defenders as I shoot an air layup showing where my path would have been.

The temptation of a possible three points seems to alter the thinking of players, coaches, and fans. Is the big man a thing of the past? Not really. Now you just have big men working on shooting threes. Dirk Nowitzki was the pioneer of this shift, and for a while it was a novelty to the point that he was the only one doing it. Now there’s a handful of guys approaching or exceeding seven feet tall who can shoot a three pointer with enough accuracy that it needs to be addressed by the defense as something more than just a novelty. Brook Lopez, Marc Gasol, Nikola Jokic, and Joel Embiid are just some examples of the paradigm shifting from the lumbering big man setting up shop on the low block to the “stretch” big man setting a pick, then setting up shop behind the three point line.

It is still my assertion that the best big men can do both. And that is what I try to do now when I play in rec leagues and pickup. Am I an effective three point shooter? I’ll call myself streaky; I’ve had games where I’ve hit two or three threes in a row and then others where I haven’t even come close. But by no means have I abandoned my post game. Some dinosaurs will never be extinct, but they definitely will have to be agile enough to grab that three point train.

Album of the Month: Coldplay “A Rush of Blood to the Head”

I acknowledge that Chris Martin, lead singer of the band Coldplay, is a douche. So much so that he can be rightfully called the archetype of the new millennium male douche. Sensitive, angst-ridden, cause-supporting, earnest, sappy, hipster, whatever adjective you use, he planted the flag firmly and claimed a new planet of adult alternative contemporary pop-rock with the 2000 anthem “Yellow” (from their major label debut “Parachutes”) soon to be crowed at karaoke by college bros deeply in touch with feelings they never knew they had. Millions of album sales, and the inevitable backlash, came swiftly.

The next album would, rightly or wrongly, determine Coldplay’s fate and direction. In 2002, they released “A Rush of Blood to the Head” and it became clear from the outset: Coldplay came to play. Martin’s angst remains ever present throughout his lyrics and yes, he overreaches at the heartstrings plenty of times.

But the real power of this album is the band.

Whereas “Parachutes” can be so ethereal and atmospheric to the point of disappearing, Rush of Blood maintains a constant rock presence and feel. Piano, guitar, drums, bass all come together in plenty of soaring choruses and memorable hooks. The opening song “Politik” is a globalist call from Martin to “open up your eyes” and “don’t forget the rest of us” over a two chord power punch. He does keep bringing it back to love and doubt and fractured relationships throughout the record, and as his depression increases, the record becomes deeper and more compelling. Even when the lyrical sappiness is turned up to 10 on “The Scientist”, the gorgeous melody carries the song. By the end of the record, the next to the last song is the title track, and Martin is ready to watch the house of broken promises burn to the ground. Easily the highlight of the album. The final song “Amsterdam” finds Martin completely adrift and ready to end it all, but before hope is lost, salvation is found: “Stood on the edge/Tied to a noose/But you came along and cut me loose”.

(editor’s opinion)

FINAL CUT: This album is full of soft piano leading to soaring chords and melodies. Coldplay probably peaked with this album but it remains their finest work top to bottom. Martin never quite gets to where he wants to be, but his confusion, depression and anger make for some great moments. If you’re a fan, this is in your top 2 Coldplay albums. If you’re not, start with this one.

8.5/10

AFCW Post Draft Review: Los Angeles Chargers

Some teams fared better than others in the 2019 NFL Draft, and that is especially the case in the AFC West. Now, that is to be expected when a team like the Raiders with needs all over the place head into the draft with 4 top 35 picks, and end up making 9 selections overall while a team like the Chiefs head into the draft with fewer picks including zero 1st round picks, and needs at few positions.

Lets start wit the Los Angeles Chargers.

Needs entering draft in order: DT, OG, OT, ILB, S, WR
Draft Selections: DT Jerry Tillery, S Nasir Adderley, OT Trey Pipkins, LB Drue Tranquill, QB Easton Stick, DE Emeke Egbule, DT Cortez Broughton

Best Pick: S Nasir Adderley – DT was a bigger need, and they got a good one in round 1 with Jerry Tillery so this was hard, but I think the pick of Nasir Adderley in Rd 2 was the Chargers’ best pick. I just love his game, and the versatility he bring to an already pretty loaded secondary. It will be a tall task to throw on the Chargers in 2020.

Worst Pick: OT Trey Pipkins – Listen, I’m as big of supporter as any in drafting a bit a project in that 3 rd range, but Pipkins could be had so much later. This was a pretty awful use of a good resource.

Under the Radar Pick: QB Easton Stick – Another player that was picked a little earler than most expected, but I loved it. Having a good backup QB is underrated in this league, even when you have an ironman in Philip Rivers. Stick doesn’t present a lot of upside in terms of a future starter, so I think you could do a lot worse than using a 5th rd pick on a career backup that can come in and pull out gritty wins when called upon for the next 8-10 years.

Overall: This was a great draft for the Chargers at the top, but fizzled soon after. Stick was a sneaky good pick in the 5th, but other than that after Adderley in round 2 I don’t see much upside in terms of future starter in the bunch. The 2 picks at the top are good enough to earn a solid grade.

Grade: B+

New 3 Round Mock Draft

Click the AFCW picks for highlights

1 Cardinals – Kyler Murray, QB Oklahoma (McNutty)
2 49ers – Nick Bosa, EDGE Ohio State (Balls)
3 NYJ – Quinnen Williams, IDL Alabama (Dude)
4 Raiders – Josh Allen, EDGE Kentucky (McNutty)
5 Bucs – Devin White, LB LSU (Balls)
6 Giants – Ed Oliver, IDL Houston (Dude)
7 Jags – Jawaan Taylor, OT Florida (McNutty)
8 Lions – T.J. Hockenson, TE Iowa (Balls)
9 Bills – Montez Sweat, EDGE Mississippi State (Dude)
10 TRADE: Redskins – Drew Lock, QB Mizzou (Dude)
11 Bengals – Devin Bush Jr., LB Michigan (Balls)
12 Packers – Andre Dillard, OT Washington State (Dude)
13 Fins – Dwayne Haskins, QB Ohio State (McNutty)
14 Falcons – Rashan Gary, EDGE Michigan (Balls)
15 TRADE: 3X Superbowl Champion Broncos – Greedy Williams, CB LSU (McNutty)
16 Panthers – Jonah Williams, OT Alabama (McNutty)
17 Giants – Daniel Jones, QB Duke (Balls)
18 Vikings – Garrett Bradbury, IOL NC State (Dude)
19 Titans – Clelin Ferrell, EDGE Clemson (McNutty)
20 Steelers – DeAndre Baker, CB Georgia (Balls)
21 Seahawks – Brian Burns, EDGE Florida State (Dude)
22 Ravens – D.K. Metcalf, WR Mississippi (McNutty)
23 Texans – Cody Ford, OT Oklahoma (Balls)
24 Fags – Marquise Brown, WR Oklahoma (Dude)
25 Iggles – N’Keal Harry, WR Arizona State (McNutty)
26 Colts – Byron Murphy, CB Washington (Balls)
27 Raiders – Noah Fant, TE Iowa (Dude)
28 Clippers – Christian Wilkins, IDL Clemson (McNutty)
29 TRADE: Browns – Chase Winovich, EDGE Michigan (Balls)
30 Packers – Johnathan Abram, S Mississippi State (Dude)
31 Rams – Erik McCoy, IOL Texas A&M (McNutty)
32 Pats – Dexter Lawrence, IDL Clemson (Balls)

2nd Round

33 Cards – Jerry Tillery, IDL Notre Dame (Dude)
34 Colts – Jeffery Simmons, IDL Mississippi State (McNutty)
35 Raiders – Rock Ya-Sin, CB Temple (Balls)
36 49ers – Chauncey Gardner-Johnson, S Florida (Dude)
37 Giants – Dalton Risner, OT Kansas State (McNutty)
38 Jags – A.J. Brown, WR Mississippi (Balls)
39 Bucs – Justin Layne, CB Michigan State (Dude)
40 Bills – Greg Little, OT Mississippi (McNutty)
41 Broncos – Chris Lindstrom, IOL Boston College (Balls)
42 Bengals – Kaleb McGary, OT Washington (Dude)
43 Lions – Mack Wilson, LB Alabama (McNutty)
44 Packers – Joshua Jacobs, RB Alabama (Balls)
45 Falcons- Amani Oruwariye, CB Penn State (Dude)
46 Broncos – Irv Smith Jr., TE Alabama (McNutty)
47 Panthers – Renell Wren, IDL Arizona State (Balls)
48 Fins – Ben Banogu, EDGE TCU (Dude)
49 Seahawks – Nasir Adderley, S Delaware (McNutty)
50 Vikings – Juan Thornhill, S Virginia (Balls)
51 Titans – Hakeem Butler, WR Iowa State (Dude)
52 Steelers – Parris Campbell, WR Ohio State (McNutty)
53 Iggles – Julian Love, CB Notre Dame (Balls)
54 Texans – Tytus Howard, OT Alabama State (Dude)
55 Texans – Taylor Rapp, S Washington (McNutty)
56 Pats – Jachai Polite, EDGE Florida (Balls)
57 Iggles – Darnell Savage, S Maryland (Dude)
58 Cowboys – Jace Sternberger, TE Texas A&M (McNutty)
59 Colts – Dre’Mont Jones, IDL Ohio State (Balls)
60 Clippers – David Edwards, OT Wisconsin (Dude)
61 Chiefs – Andy Isabella, WR UMass (McNutty)
62 Saints – Trysten Hill, IDL UCF (Balls)
63 Chiefs – Lonnie Johnson Jr, CB Kentucky (Dude)
64 Pats – Deionte Thompson, S Alabama (McNutty)

3rd Round

65 Cards – Deebo Samuel, WR South Carolina (Balls)
66 Steelers – Josh Oliver, TE San Jose (Balls)
67 49ers – Riley Ridley, WR Georgia (Balls)
68 Jets – LJ Collier, Edge S TCU (Dude)
69 Jags – Jaylon Ferguson, Edge LA Tech (Dude)
70 Bucs – Christian Millers, Edge Bama (Dude)
71 Broncos – Blake Cashman, ILB Minnesota (McNutty)
72 Bengals – Elgton Jenkins, IOL Mississippi (McNutty)
73 Pats – Trayvon Mullen, CB Clemson (McNutty)
74 Bengals – Khalen Saunders, IDL Western Illinois (Balls)
75 Packers – Oshane Ximines, EDGE Old D (JMC’s nickname) (Balls)
76 Redskins – Joejuan Williams, CB Vandy (Balls)
77 Panthers – Amani Hooker, S Gay Ass College for Queers (Dude)
78 Fins – David Long, CB Michigan (Dude)
79 Falcons – Charles Omenihu, IDL Texas (Dude)
80 Browns – Michael Deiter, IOL Wisconsin (McNutty)
81 Vikings – Yodny Cajuste, OT West Virginia (McNutty)
82 Titans – Dawson Knox, TE Mississippi (McNutty)
83 Steelers – Germaine Pratt, LB NC State (Balls)
84 Chiefs – Sean Bunting, CB Central Michigan (Balls)
85 Ravens – Damien Harris, RB Bama (Balls)
86 Texans – Dru Samia, IOL Oklahoma (Dude)
87 Bears – Isaiah Johnson, CB Houston (Dude)
88 Lions – Zach Allen, EDGE BC (Dude)
89 Colts – Emanuel Hall, WR Mizzou (McNutty)
90 Cowboys – Jaquan Johnson, S Miami (McNutty)
91 Clippers – Tyree Jackson, QB Buffalo (McNutty)
92 Seahawks – Miles Sanders, RB Penn State (Balls)
93 Jets – Miles Boykin, WR Notre Dame (Balls)
94 Rams – Vosean Joseph, LB Florida (Balls)

AFCW Draft – Worst Case Scenarios

Raiders #4 Overall: QB. The Raiders are in position with 3 picks in the first round to add much needed impact players on both sides of the ball. A QB at 4 would most likely not start right away. They’d keep Carr and he’ll be playing while also looking over his shoulder. Not ideal. With the #4 pick, the Raiders need someone to make an immediate impact. This means guys like Quinnen Williams, Josh Allen, Ed Oliver. I could even live with Devin White. But not a fucking QB. Don’t do it, Jon, you fuck.

Broncos #10 Overall:  Interior OL. Sure, your offensive line sucks ass, but reaching for one at 10 wouldn’t be in Elway’s best interest. TGF isn’t in this draft and there will be an elite defensive talent on the board that old man Fangio will be banging the table for. Not to mention the possible QB (Lock), who they can sit for a year and learn how to suck behind Flacco’s sorry ass. Pick an interior OLman and the rest of us AFCW’ers will be cheering.

Chargers #28 Overall: I’m trying to think of a worst-case scenario for the Chargers, but with All Pros at every single position, I can’t see a realistic pick that would suck. TT can pretty much pick whoever falls in his lap again this year.

Chiefs #29 Overall: WR. Sure, it’s a need because Sammy Watkins can’t stay healthy, and Tyreek Hill is a child abuser, but Fat Andy can navigate an offense better than he can a pulled pork sandwich. And that says a lot because he’s fat. And likes BBQ. Anyway, your defense is fucking terrible and lost 2 of its best players. Other than Chris Jones, not an impact player anywhere. BPA on defense should be the pick, not a WR.

And FKBW.